AI Limmericks

By Henry Kautz:

If your thesis is utterly vacuous,

Use first-order predicate calculus.

With sufficient formality,

The sheerest banality

Will be hailed by all as miraculous.

If your thesis is quite indefensible,

Reach for semantics intensional.

Over Montague grammar,

Your committee will stammer,

Not admitting it's incomprehensible!

If you're dull as a napkin, don't sigh;

Make your name as a "deep" sort of guy.

You just have to crib, see,

Any old book by Kripke

And publish in AAAI.

A hacker who studied ontology

Was famed for his sense of frivolity.

When his program inferred

That Clyde ISA Bird

He blamed -- not his code -- but zoology.

Funny :)